Funeral info & Heaven info.

Sorry, this is very late now, almost too late to really be helpful, but for those of you who are still wondering, my Dad's funeral is tomorrow at 1pm.
It will be held at the same place that Joel's was: Wheeler Funeral Chapel, 211 Regent Ave. W.

I kept meaning to put this information up, but somehow never did.  I'd like to tell you something about something, but I have no idea what to say about how I'm doing, or my Mom is doing, or whatever sort of stuff.  My Mom might not like that, so I guess I better tell you that my Mom is ok, and that she is a strong lady with a deep faith in God.  And also that any support for her will be appreciated... because obviously things are going to be tough for awhile.

I continue to be surprised by "how well" I'm handling things, and also by the various "meltdowns" I have had.  :)   You tell me what that means?

Just last week I was having some panic/anxiety attacks.  Racing, pounding heart, feeling faint, that sort of thing.  Not that those really say "how well" you are handling things.  I think situations of such stress and emotional response call the body to these sorts of reactions, and I don't feel bad about having them.  At the same time, they took me by surprise, and made me face the fact that my body is telling me "be careful because you've almost had enough." 

And then, in between all the calmness and facing things and being "reasonable"  (ha ha, had to use my favorite word, haven't used it in so long), I have had a few "take me by surprise" sort of meltdowns.  I guess that is not strange.  Yet my emotional reactions continue to surprise me.  Man, I thought I was so self aware!  Maybe not!

Caeden is good at catching me crying when I think he's not noticing.  The other day tears were silently running down my face as I prepared supper, and I guess he noticed a little sniffle or something, because he looked up from his Lego and said "Are you crying about Grandpa or about Joel?"  And I said "Caeden, I really don't know."  And he said, with a note of slight 4 year old-type exasperation "You have to choose, it can't be BOTH."  And I said "Yes, it can.  Oh yes, it can."

One of the last things I spoke to my Dad about, on his last Friday morning with us, was to tell him about a conversation with my son.   We were driving from the hospital, Steve, Caeden and I, and Caeden was asking me questions about heaven.  Of course, the questions were about details of 4 year old importance, though I can no longer remember what the specifics were. 

I confess, I have often wished that the Bible was more specific about what it is like after we die.  Oh, I know we likely wouldn't be able to understand much about it, in our present state.  But you know, the way Jesus used parables and extended metaphor-type comparisons.  Maybe some explanation of that sort.  I don't even know what I'd like, just more information in general, I guess.  Even while I know that God has promised that being with Him is going to be pretty great.  Still, it is the unknown...

But I framed an answer for Caeden, one I guess I always knew, but for some reason it just really hit me as I was saying it.  I was giving the answer to my son, but I was also giving the answer to myself.  I told Caeden that we really didn't know much about heaven, because Heaven was a surprise for us.  I told him to remember getting his birthday presents and how he never knew what was inside of them, but he was always so excited to see the wrapping paper.  He couldn't wait to unwrap them.  In fact, he obsesses over them days before he receives them.

And heaven is the same thing, I told him.  It is a gift God is giving us, but it is a surprise gift.  We know it will be good and exciting, and God's not spoiling our surprise by telling us what it is before we unwrap it.  And in my mind's eye, I saw how excited, in turn, Steve and I were to give Caeden a gift.  We could never wait to see his face when he opened it.  In fact, this joyous feeling perhaps prompts us to give a few too many presents than we should!  And I thought of God, waiting in heaven, just like a parent, to see our faces when we get our gift.

And I thought, well, I wouldn't want to spoil my surprise after all. 

I shared this story with my Dad on Friday morning, and he seemed to really like it.  And now he has opened his present...