The little boy with the light brown curls

Second post of the day. But I have this little boy wandering around in my mind, and I want to set him free here on this "page."

This little boy, with light brown curls. He is a very sweet, good-natured little boy. He follows his brother around with an innocent sort of hero-worship. Sometimes he flops down in defeat and aggravation when he just can't keep up with his older brother's antics. But he doesn't' cry. In a few moments, he is happy to just watch him once again.

He is chubby, this little guy. He is not a "go-getter" like his older brother, not full of energy. He is much more relaxed about life. He likes to watch things, and ponders them in that toddler way little ones have.

He is a cuddly little boy, not as outgoing as his brother, either. He does love people, and he watches them closely. He's not as talkative as his brother though. Not only does he watch people, but he is a listener too. I think that he is not really going to speak much, until all of a sudden sentences come out!

He toddles over to greet his daddy when he comes home, with a big smile and outstretched arms.

He won't grow up to be the sort of person who is ambitious, who gets things done. He's going to be laid back as an adult too. He won't get angry fast, he'll be patient, but when he finally explodes, look out!

People will say he is a nice guy, and he'll shovel the neighbors walks. Some people will think he is easy to push around, but when you get to know him, you will see that he can be quietly stubborn. And very loyal.

But there are years before that, and right now he is just a tumbly little guy, full of smiles and hugs.

Sometimes I see this little boy so clearly, just right in front of my eyes. Sometimes I just catch glimpses of him, out of the corners of my eyes.

This "other" Joel. The one that would be, if that 'little' error on that PEX gene could be corrected. He haunts me, like a melody that played in the distance. One that you can almost recognize and never quite leaves your mind.

It is a friendly, but sad little tune. I wish that I could hear it more clearly, hear it played at about 80 decibels, like the 'song of Caeden' plays in our lives most of the time. But I can't.

So I live with it played in the background. I see my little glimpses of those light brown curls on the back of that little bobbing head. They make me smile. They make me cry. They catch me in paper-cuts of surprise.

The people who love the solid, touchable Joel might get glimpses of this 'other' boy.

The rest of the world does not. They can only see one Joel, the Joel right before their eyes. But that other little Joel is a part of the one in front of them. He is the reminder that there is more to the Joel in front of us, than what we can physically see. He is the reminder that Joel exists as a person, a valuable person, who is more, much more, than the physical aspect that limits him.

He reminds us of Joel's spirit and soul. The true part of us, that makes us human and precious. I wish everyone could see that sweet little boy with those light brown curls...