Rainbows & Earthquakes

This is going to be a bit of an explanation. An explanation about the blog. "Oh no!", you must be thinking, "Now she's writing blogs about her blog!"

Most of the time when I write in here, I find that the blog has already pretty much "written itself" in my head and heart before I sit down here. I'm just letting it all out, and all my wonderful "followers" (ha ha, what a funny term!) are vaguely in the back of my mind, but what I am writing is up there at the front trying to scratch it's way out of the box of my mind.

This time, I guess, I am writing a bit more with those who read this in the front of my mind. Though I think the blog still had pretty much written itself before I sat down. I had pressing things to say, but there were really things I wanted to say to you all, by way of an explanation, I suppose.

I have always felt love and support, when I heard anyone comment that they read this blog, and it has filled me with pleasure, when they said they enjoyed it or understood it, it has made me feel loved and understood and cared for, and I am grateful for that. It has also made me feel humble, in a way, and surprised, to know that people would read all my emotional-type blatherings and still enjoy them, or very surprising to me, want to continue to read them. So please don't think that anyone has ever questioned or criticised me (expect my husband and that is his job!)

There is something that niggles at the back of my mind, though, and I want to give you all a bit of an explanation, for I feel I owe it to you, since you have continued to read this, in spite of my obvious failings, or maybe because of them.

I'd call it my "Catholic conscience", but I'm not Catholic. I just wonder at times, if those readers/friends who believe in God, and hold Him in a prominent place in their life, are often wondering at the sort of "earthy" nature of some of what I write. I wonder if they are surprised I don't mention Him more, or perhaps think I should praise Him more often, or?? (fill in the blanks)

And now I can imagine that my friends/readers who don't have a stance on God one way or another, or who have difficulty even imagining He exists, are totally surprised at the notion. I wonder if they think I never seem to shut up about God, if I can say more than five words without mentioning Him.

I'm smiling as I write this. The thoughts don't really offend me, and perhaps none of them ever cross any of your minds in any way. I don't know. It is largely a one way conversation we have going here, and since I hog the podium, the downside is, most of the time your thoughts are opaque to me.

In any case, I found myself wanting to explain myself a bit, and also maybe answer the question my sister in law asked me, about why I had called my blog what I did.

So let me say that the purpose of this blog is not a sermon. I'm not exactly writing a hymn here, though I hope that as God "reads these words over my shoulder" so to speak, He will find them pleasing as well.

The fact is, God has always been the "staff" the notes of my life have been written on. Or maybe it's better to say that the music of my life is written in the key of "G."

And the recent events of my life have only made me think of Him more. Made the fact that He is so important to me, even more prominent in my mind. Musing about meanings of life and death and everything that goes on in between, well for me, God has to be in there. What else could be??

But I don't ever expect anything I write here to make it into a book of sermons or anything like that. Though I must say that when I studied the books of Esther and Song of Solomon in Bible College, I remember our professors saying something to the effect that though the name of God Himself is not directly mentioned, the books are included in the Bible. Because if you really read them, you will see God is written in between every line.

And I think (I hope) that can be said of my blog too. God is the asphalt on my road, where those rubber tires meet it. He's not an occasional Sunday "pit stop." He is the road. Perhaps you might not notice, or even think of it while you are driving, but it is always there, making the journey easier, or even possible. I don't mention Him every time (again, some of you must be astonished! It would only seem like every time), but I can assure you, I never forget the surface I move over.

I guess the point is, this blog is about my journey. My journey would not be what it is if God were not here with me. But this blog is not meant to be about God. It is the story of my journey. God comes into as He comes into it. You, yourself, will either have to read between the lines if you are not sure He is there, or you will have to try to ignore Him, if you have no interest in Him. Though that might be hard, as He is the landscape in the history I'm recording. In any case, I have decided that I will leave that whole problem: too much God, or not enough, firmly in you, the reader's, capable hands.

So, now I will tell you, as best I can, why my blog is called "rainbows & earthquakes."

Of course, there are obvious connotations to earthquakes. I'm sure everyone sort of guessed that my life was going through numerous earthquakes and aftershocks. And yes, there is that.

There is a bit more to it though. The word "earthquake" has another connotation for me. It reminds me of a favorite story in the Bible, about a prophet named Elijah. God did many miraculous, amazing things with him and through him.

But he had an enemy that I bet every single reader has heard of in some way, a queen named Jezebel. It is an infamous name. And she killed a whole whack of guys who believed what Elijah believed, and sent a message to Elijah, that he was next.

This is all background, none of this is my favorite part.

My favorite part is that Elijah had this big crisis of faith. You might even say he had a nervous breakdown, and he ran away, fled for his life with his tail between his legs until he could go no further. And then he sat down and asked God to take his life, he was through with it!

Man, do I relate to this guy! He said, basically (I'm going to paraphrase here, read yourself if you want the exact words) "Look God, I did EVERYTHING for You. And what do I have? NOTHING. In fact, someone is trying to KILL me here!!"

And God sent a big windstorm, an earthquake, and then a fire for him to witness.

And do you know what? God wasn't in any of those things.

But at the end, God spoke to Elijah in a delicate whispering voice. I really can't explain to you, the way that strikes me, or how beautiful I think it is. But earthquake is a word that always reminds me, that when I am THROUGH. When I am ready to QUIT. When I see FIRE, and WIND, and SHAKING GROUND. That God has a delicate whispering voice just waiting to speak gently to me. And kindly turn me around and point me in the right direction, cause He loves me, and He's not finished with me yet.

And now you probably know where I'm going with rainbows... But here we go. Rainbows, quite simply, are reminders for me of God's promises. Because after the flood, God promised He would never flood the whole earth again. It is a reminder of God's promises which He always keeps. I can think of my own flood. I can remember that "darkness endures for a night, but joy comes in the morning. (Psalm 30:5)" The night seems long. It seems never ending at times. But I know that joy will arrive with the dawn.

There you go. Two explanations for my readers. One maybe unnecessary, and one done on request. I hope that you understood both of them, and I hope you maybe found some encouragement...