Welcome

This blog is my record of my journey with my son who had a rare, and eventually fatal metabolic illness. It is the story of the last year and a half of his life, his death, and after. I have shared this journey this in the hopes that is will not only help me come to terms with the realities, but also that someone along the way may find it helpful, as they face a similar journey.







This is my place to comment on events, blow off steam, encourage myself (and maybe you), share frustrations, show my love, grieve my losses, express my hopes, and if I am lucky, maybe figure out some of this crazy place we call life on earth.





The content might sometimes get a little heavy. As an understatement..







WARNING:







People who are grieving may write sad or difficult things and bring you down. This blog may not be for the faint of stomach or of heart. Read with caution and at your own risk.





If you are new to this blog, I suggest reading it from oldest to newest. It isn't necessary, as what I write is complete in itself. But this blog is sort of the result of the "journey" I'm going on, and I think it sort of "flows" better from oldest to newest.



I do hope that in the end you will find, in spite of all the difficult and heartbreaking things, things that are worth contemplating.





Welcome along!





Saturday, March 9, 2013

If you can stand it, MORE about diabetes!

Here is my new plan for keeping my blood sugars normal and still not losing, or even gaining, some weight:

I eat 1-2 carbs EVERY TWO HOURS, along with a protein, and then I squeeze in some veggies here and there too.

I don't know which I am looking forward to more, being able to eat some of the foods I have been unable to eat right now (like cow's milk, cause right now I'm having almond milk),  or being able NOT to eat what and when I DON'T want to.  The jury is out on that one.  The jury is not out on almond milk though.  It definitely sounds a lot more tasty than it is.  At least, the kind I drink, which has 0% sugar in it.

Anyway, it has only been three & a half days since I saw the endocrinologist, and I have been able to gain back maybe a bit over a pound on this new, strict regime.  And my blood sugars are looking really good, as well.  So I am very happy about that.  If I gain back all three-four of the pounds I lost, I might start to relax the 2 hour eating schedule just a bit.  That would be nice.

Because my strict eating schedule means eating 7 times a day (I might go as long as 2 & 1/2 hours between a couple of the mini-meals).  And about this time in pregnancy, I feel FULL.  Really, really FULL.   And if you could just grab a couple crackers (or better yet, a donut) for a snack, then you might be hungry an hour or so later.  But if you HAVE to eat lots of fiber and some protein with that carb, then let me tell you, it stays with you a LOT longer. 

Yeah, and no donuts for incentive either.  Not even too much fruit.  Which is something I really crave, but if I eat a piece of fruit, then YOU GUESSED IT, I gotta eat some good amount of protein with it.  And I'm supposed to limit my fruit to 3 servings a day, but I might cheat a bit because my blood sugars are OK, and because if you are not extremely hungry and you crave fruit, well, it works.   But only 15 grapes (seriously) and NOT 20!  Because one day I made that mistake, though the diabetic chart said 15, I thought, "really??" and ate more like 20 and then it was bad... so I can never do that again.

This is likely all fairly boring for you all.  Minuscule details of my eating/managing my diabetes.  Just skim it, I'll never know!  It's just my life right now.  Steve comes home and asks me how my day was and what happened.  I just give him a look...  I ate, I cleaned, I took a brief rest, I ate, I cleaned, I briefly played a game with Caeden, I ate, I walked, I had a short break on the computer, I ate... you get the idea, repeat SEVEN times over.  It's a bit boring at times, I might add.  Writing this blog is the most fun I've had all day...  :)

Here is one thing I am grateful for.  These cd's I bought that are parts of the Bible made into songs.  Yes, really, I know that sounds like "super spiritual" or something.  It's not.  It's just really comforting and encouraging, because we (Caeden & I) listen to them lots in a day and then while I am cleaning the songs are in my head.  In fact, all night long, every time I wake up to go to the bathroom, there is one of the songs playing in my head.

And so while it would be very easy to be even more completely obsessed with diabetes, and what I eat, and the health of this baby, and what happens when Baby comes, it is a nice mental relief.  (because obsessed really seems the right word to describe this level of mental & emotional involvement)  Instead, my background mental noise is "We are more than conquerors through Him that loved us." and "Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things..."

I'm grateful for this grace of God.

The date of Joel's death approaches closer.  I worry that it will get 'missed' in all the other stuff going on.  I don't think that would be, ultimately, very good for me.  So I am hoping that I'll be able to prepare for that a bit before it happens.  Whew, this is sure an emotionally dense time for me.

Thanks, friends and family, for caring enough to keep up with all this.  I truly, truly appreciate it.  I know that at times it is not the most fascinating reading.  It's nice to have a place to put it down, though.  And a continual surprise to me that some of you still bother to read it!!  Either you are very, very bored people, or you are incredibly loyal.  I'll go with the loyalty!  :)

2 comments:

  1. I'm a blog following from Jolene and I had Gestational Diabetes with all three pregnancies and now have pre-diabetes.

    Not fun at all, I've been through it all and you sound like you're really doing well. You have the protein/carb balance down well.

    Some suggestions that worked well for me. 1/2 a cup of cottage cheese with a serving of berries. berries were the only fruits my sugars tolerated. Also, do you have ezekiel bread there? It's made from sprouted grain and very low glycemic.

    I'd be happy to help with anything else....

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  2. That is how I ended up eating (actually...it was how the Nazi Nutritionist panel wanted us to eat)...every 2-3 hours I ate...meal-snack-meal-snack-meal-snack-snack. All freaking day long...every.single.day. The carb/protein balance is key. For dinner...I always liked to make sure I had a big slab of protien because then I could have a potatoe or some french fries with it and it was no big deal on my blood sugar...so...if you like steak....now is the time to call in that card....yummy!!!! and then you can have a nice potato or some french fries with it.
    Karaleen

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