Early Christmas Gift

Today Joel had a hearing test, after going months and months without getting him tested. I went in fully expecting to hear that Joel now had a significant hearing loss, though not a total loss, as it still seemed to me he had some hearing (as I previously mentioned, he does now sometimes smile at my singing).

Joel was very sleepy, as the test was first thing this morning, and normally he likes to sleep a lot in the morning. In fact, he slept while I dressed him, he slept in the car, he slept in the stroller. He only briefly woke now and then when I'd take off or put on some item of clothing. I was relieved that he could do this, because otherwise I know I'd have had a very upset little guy. He HATES to be woken up (he must have fantastic dreams) and I avoid doing it at all costs.

So I was glad he was contented/drowsy/sleeping instead of awake/unhappy/screaming full bore. But I thought "Man, this hearing test will be a waste of time. He's either going to sleep through everything, or if we try and rouse him, he'll be a screaming mess." I was surprised and very happy when the audiologist offered to pass on her next appointment to a colleague (it was referral, so she could do that. ;) ) and give Joel an ABR test instead.

I trust ABR tests more than sound booth tests anyway, although she still really wants a sound booth test for the next time. The sound booth test seems so much more subjective. And of course, if Joel has an off day, he might not "perform" very well. The ABR test is done by putting sound into his ear and measuring how his cochlea is responding to the volume of the sound. Since Joel lay motionlessly drowsing or sleeping, the audiologist was able to do this test, which only works when the child is asleep.

I was not surprised to hear that he once again had fluid on his ears. But I was surprised to learn that he has no apparent hearing loss yet! It would be easy to be skeptical about these results, especially as he was not sedated for this ABR, and thus it would not be as accurate. Still she seemed really positive that she had gotten some good readings, all similar to the ones she got last winter when Joel was sedated. She went as low as 40 dbs and Joel was still fine. She didn't bother going down to 20dbs, as with the fluid on Joel's ears, she knew he wouldn't be hearing that right, as fluid on the ears will cause about 20dbs of hearing loss. There would be no way to tell if there were any hearing loss aside from the fluid, but since 40 dbs was still great even with the fluid, she felt he couldn't have a hearing loss that was more than slight to mild.

All of this was very good news. Such a relief. It's not that I dread hearing aids! Bring em on! It's just that I dread the approach of hearing loss, because eventually it will become total hearing loss. If that happens while Joel is still alive, I'm not sure how or what Steve and I will decide to do. I think Joel is in a pretty fragile state for the type of surgery that can give him his hearing back. And every month, he just gets more fragile. So I felt a huge feeling of relief to know that this was not the time I'd have to make such a tough decision.

And for me, it was my own Christmas miracle. When Joel was diagnosed, I prayed that he'd be able to keep his hearing, at least with aids, until he turned two. Which is the earliest they'll consider the surgery. I try not to be too general when I pray. I like to ask God for specific things, if I'm going to ask. I give Him details. Sometimes He says yes, sometimes He says no, and sometimes He says wait.

This time He answered yes, beyond what I even imagined. Joel hasn't even needed hearing aids. I had no idea that when Joel hit two years old, he be so fragile that Steve and I might not actually ask for a cochlear implant surgery. God knew though, and He's given us a minor (but so gratefully accepted) miracle in Joel's continued good hearing. He has little else, but he still has his hearing, and his big smile. And that is a pretty great Christmas gift.