12 Weeks

So, today was back to the doctor for the real deal check up.  I can say that the good news is that my blood pressure was normal.  That surprised me.  I keep expecting it to be high!  Everything else seemed OK on preliminary exam, though of course, some results I will have to wait to get.

We heard the heart beat once again, and Caeden got to hear it too.

So the pregnancy is starting to feel more real, more like a baby really is going to arrive in April.

And today the doctor brought up the subject of my age, and testing for some of the things my age makes baby at higher risk for.  Ugh.   A talk I had been dreading.  My emotional reactions are so crazy.  I told her about Joel and what my real concern is (one in 200 for DS vs 1 in 4 for PBD).  I said it all without any tears or choking up.  And not until she got into her spiel about  the different tests, etc. did I feel tears suddenly well up in my eyes.  And then, of course, I thought, get a gripe girl!  THIS is not the time or place to cry!  And I didn't cry till I got in the car to drive home...  I cried for Joel, and I cried for baby, because I love baby and never what to let baby go either.

So today I was re-debating the issue to test or not to test.  I checked with the nicest Dr. ever, Dr. Raymond from KKI in the states who confirmed what I suspected.  There is NO non-invasive test for PBD.  And though I really, really would like to know if this baby is healthy or not before it arrives, I really couldn't take the chance that my baby would be the one in a hundred or two hundred that miscarried because of a test that is not necessary for us.

There is only one solution that I can see here.  Time.  If I wait till April, I'll know for sure.

Meantime, I may/may not be feeling better.  I still can't say for sure, still having good days/bad days.  But food does seem to slowly be regaining it's appeal.  Though my weight today was 161 lbs, just a pound or two higher than what I started with, my pants.  have.   got. to.  go.   Oh yeah.  I LOVE these jeans, but they are just not cutting it anymore.

And I feel secure enough now, to at least go out and buy a pair of pregnancy jeans.  If I can find any that fit.  All the ones loaned to me are about an inch to short.  :(    I don't want to wear flood pants for the whole pregnancy.  Anyone know any company that is sane enough to understand that even taller people get pregnant and that not everyone in the world has a 32 inch inseam???

And last of all:  YAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!  A BABY IS COMING!!!!

(I think)  ;)