Funeral Words

I didn't want to post what I said at the funeral until I had fixed the spacing problem. But I'm not computer-literate enough to get very far, very fast, and I just don't want to wait any longer to post them. ``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` This is what I had written to read out. I ad-libbed a bit, and I'm not even going to attempt to put those parts down. This is long enough, and is basically what I wanted to say. So here they are: ``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` I wanted to say something at Joel's funeral, but I am afraid that tears might get the best of me. If that happens, I'll have to let someone read these words for me. But I really wanted to be able to say these words to you myself. ```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` I'm not going to spend a lot of time talking about how much I loved Joel, how precious he was to me, or all the things that having him in my life taught me. I don't feel a great need to express all the love and memories, or tell you what a special little boy he is, because I have already done this every day of his life. ``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` The last two and a half years have been a declarations of how much we loved Joel and how much we valued his life here on earth. For over a year now, I have freely shared my heart toward Joel on my blog. You can find all my love, all the precious and special things, recorded on that blog. Every day of our lives we spent loving Joel and treasuring him. We declared his value to us, and our love for him through our actions every single day. ````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` And so, in honour of his memory, instead of talking more about that, I'd like to talk to you about peace. I think Joel would be very happy to know that on the day we are remembering his life, his momma took the time to share the peace, joy, and strength she has found in her Saviour, Jesus Christ. `````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` You are dear and precious friends, supporters, people who have touched our lives, and I hope we have also touched yours. It is the greatest pain of my life to have to say "See you later," to Joel for an indefinite time. But it is a joy for me to share with you the strength and encouragement I have found in God's presence, because I know that pain and hardship comes to us all, and I hope that you might find encouragement and a place of comfort through my words. ```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` So let me share with you that our lives have been filled with peace. This peace started long ago with the peace that I felt on the very special day that I asked Jesus to be my Lord and Saviour. It was a peace that I have only felt from the amazing gift of forgiveness found in Christ. ```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Forgiveness is an amazing thing. You can only experience it if you can admit first that you need forgiveness. It is hard to face the evil part of our natures, to admit that in ourselves we can not be freed of it and that it is a barrier between us and God. But it is only in facing it, admitting my need of God's grace, and accepting in humility His gift of love through His son, that I have found real freedom and peace. ````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` And so, when Joel was diagnosed with this terrible illness, I did not worry that it was a punishment from God. I could go straight to His arms. I had peace, knowing that God loved me, and that while He might let me be HURT, He would NEVER let me be HARMED. `````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` I have always tried to be as truthful and honest about my feelings and struggles as I could be on my blog. I don't want you to think I am a Super-Mom, or that I have it all together. I do not, and if you know me at all, you have already realized this. There have been many bad moments. I have been angry with God at times. I have been frustrated, overwhelmed, grumpy, and discouraged. ````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` But underneath all of this outward commotion, I have been at peace. Every time I could return to my Go, His arms were open and He gave me peace, strength, and even joy. `````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` If you have never considered God, or the Bible, or Jesus' life, I can only with the warmest wishes encourage you to do so. I can't keep the the secret of my peace or joy from you, because I love you all. ```````````````````````````````````````````````````` And if you already know Jesus personally, then I hope my words will encourage you that when the bottom falls out of your life, you will be caught in the arms of God. I hope if you are facing hard days, you will feel free to come to me, not because I have all the answers, but because I know how hard the journey is, and I promise you will find only God's understanding and love here. ```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Jesus says, in Matthew chap.6, "Lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven...For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." We have given one of our most precious treasures up into God's hands. And now a large part of hour hearts will be there also. This is, in a strange way, Joel's last gift to us. Because now the Lord's coming will be on our hearts in a very special way, and when we partake of the Lord's cup we will say "until He comes" with a special longing and joy. ````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Many of the days of Joel's life, I woke up with a sad questions. Many of the days of Joel's life, I woke up and asked "Is this the day when Joel will die?" I had such a dread and sadness of facing that day. ``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Those days are now behind me. Now I will wake up with a great sadness inside, but I will also wake up with a question of hope and of joy. I will wake up each morning, and I will say to myself "Is this the day Jesus returns and I will see my Joel again?" Every morning I am going to say to myself "This might be the day when I see Jesus, and how wonderful to see Joel again, and give him a huge hug." And so every day I will wake up with that question of hope, and that peace in my heart. ```````````````````````````````````````` The last thing I would like to do, is read a part of the Bible that is so special to me. `````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` This is where I read a very long passage. 2Cor. 4:14, 16 - 5:8 (New Life Version) I won't even attempt to put it on here. I'll just leave the reference for you if you are interested and you can read em yourself if you like. The words are very beautiful words of hope. And I love how the NLV words it. ```````````````````````````````````````````````` I leave you with these words of hope, and with the great love and gratitude we have for all of you, our dear friends, family and supporters. Thank you with all our hearts.