P.S. on Stickers

Ok, once again I feel the need to clarify what I said in my previous post.  Sort of ironic, isn't it?  Here I am clarifying my words about other people's words...

- No, I'm not angry when well meaning strangers ask me well meaning but misdirected questions.  I'm TIRED.  It tires me out.  But I'm not angry.

- No, I am NOT referring to any of you who actually know me and ask me how Caeden is doing.  Please know that friends are different, always.

- No, I don't want people to avoid me instead of "saying the wrong thing."  I just wish there were more people in the world who felt ok with silence.  Yes, sure, better to say the wrong thing for the right reason then say nothing at all for the wrong reason.   Or more plainly: Better always to err on the side of caring too much.

-  I just wish sometimes that a few of us out there would realize that their words are not the important thing so much as their focus.  How about if I talk about myself for a change, and then no one will (hopefully) feel as though this is targeted at them.  (you know if you actually read my blog, you are now in a special group of people who can do NO WRONG in my books.  Honest.  ;)  ) 

So let me say that at times I have found me, my own self, guilty of this:  Instead of stopping and just focusing on the person, on listening and being sensitive, I get caught up in what I can say to them.  I stop focusing on them, and I start just really thinking about my own words.  I sincerely desire to encourage or help.  But I forget that the key to that is turning my heart to their heart, and my eyes to their face and expression.  And I thinks somehow that it all depends on me and what I can do or say.  Instead of just being gentle, quiet, and loving.
 
There are people out there who can tell you they know what I mean, because they have felt me lose my focus before.  Yes, I am guilty of doing it too.  Even now sometimes.  Even after Joel.  Double shame on me, because I really should know better.

And so I keep trying to remember to find that place of quietness in God, to see with His eyes and wait to see if He will give me words, or more likely just ask for my ears and my arms.  And when I mess up and forget, He forgives.

And so I must also do for others, who try and fill up my pain with questions and words.  And hope they do the same for me.

And when I share this sort of thing, I hope it is not discouraging you from reaching out.  I hope it is just encouraging you to reach out with a focus on the person, and not on the words you can say.

Good thing about clarification, is that it is also an excuse for more pictures.  :)