House Pets

You know, if grief were an animal, it would NOT be a dog. It doesn't come when you call it. It doesn't sit around your feet when you are at home alone and feeling contemplative. You can't call it out when you have company and show them all it's "tricks." -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Grief would be a cat. It has a mind of it's own. It runs off when company arrives and hides under the bed. No matter how much you'd like it to appear when you are safely in the company of friends or family members, it is no where to be found. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Instead it appears suddenly out of now where, dashing under your feet and tripping you up. It paces around you, meowing loudly when you are trying to concentrate on a task. Feed me, it wails loudly. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------It's the sort of animal that refuses to sit nicely and calmly on your lap when you are ready. Instead, it wakes you early in the morning by sitting on your face and suffocating you with it's fur. It digs its claws into your shoulder until going back to sleep is impossible, and this after a night out caterwauling on your back fence and keeping you awake. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Yeah. Grief (no offence to cat lovers) would be a cat. It has a mind of it's own. It's not welcome in other people's yards, and they get upset when they see evidence that you have let it roam free there. They feel you should keep it safely in your own home. If left to itself too long, though, it might shred your curtains, instead of the scratching post. It wants attention when it decides, and on it's own terms, and heaven forbid if you forget that. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I wish it wasn't like that. I wish that when I was out and about surrounded by strangers, the tears wouldn't come. I wish so much that I could cry at home from looking at Joel's things, instead of crying at the restaurant when I see a cute little boy about Joel's age. I wish I could cry and feel bad when people call me to check in, instead of feeling better and being ok. And that the bad moments would not turn up just before bed. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Grief is not a co-operative house guest though. It sets the rules, not the other way around. The best thing is to set your mind on just going with the flow, as hard as that can be. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I wish (ok, maybe not really, but sort of ) that our society adopted the tradition of shaving of the head when someone died. Then it would just be out there. And if I cried in public, no one would wonder. They'd know immediately - she's lost someone. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Why does grief make us so uncomfortable? It is a natural and normal part of life. Seriously, who makes it through life without every meeting it? If only I felt more comfortable with it myself. But I'm working on it. After all, when you have a cat, whatcha gonna do?