To my Dad

Ok, seriously, if you are not my Dad, you are going to find this blog a bit boring.
(Unless you are my Mom. Then you'll be curious to hear what I'm going to say to
your husband. By the way, Mom, you know I love you too, every bit as much as
Dad. Someday you'll get your own blog entry too.)
It really is a blog to my Dad. You can read it if you want to, since one of the reasons I'm writing this is to make my Dad feel super great, and if he knows that you all read what a terrific person he is, I'm sure he'll have a smile.

It will be a year on May 14th, since my Dad was diagnosed with leukemia. You would think that learning that your father has a disease that chance says likely will kill him, would make you appreciate each and every day with your dad. You'd think you would never take him for granted, or let a day pass without telling him how great he is. You'd think you would be sure to spend lots of quality time with him.

Well, life with Joel being what it is, full of stress and worry, I feel like I just haven't had time or emotional energy to do that the way I would LIKE to.

Many of the details of that horrible, horrible time are a little foggy now. I suppose thank goodness. But I do remember driving to the hospital in a car after I heard that my dad was "unresponsive" and in ICU. I remember praying, "Please God, not my Dad too. Please, don't take him too. Not right now. I can't survive losing him now."

Ever since that day I have been meaning to go out with my Dad, one on one and having a good chat with him. I really had things I wanted to say to him.

But, as I said, life being what it is, that has not happened. And now he is back to work, and he doesn't come over any more with my Mom, for cups of tea and chats.

Dad, I MISS you. I know you felt like part of the furniture when Mom and I got jabbering away like a bunch of chimps, but you were not. I loved having you there, and I even heard the occasional comment you just barely got in edgewise.

Even as a full grown woman, with a family and problems of my own, you are important to me!! You are like an anchor. I can't imagine my world without you here in it.

So thanks.

Thanks for getting me through the teen years with my self esteem in tact, cause you made me feel special, beautiful. I remember you telling me you were proud of me. You made me feel valuable as a person.

Thanks for quoting Shakespeare at the table with Mom. Neither of you went to university, but I am sure that if it wasn't for you quoting Shakespeare, or Longfellow, I might not have made it there either. So thanks, too, for eating supper together with me every night, and joining with us all in interesting discussions.

Thanks for providing for us. I was fed and clothed until I could do it for myself, and that is no small task. Some Dads bail out. Some Dads bail out and then don't pay any child support either. Thank you for working hard to take care of me.

Thank you for loving Mom, all through these years. I know she is a great mom, and a great person, but I am married myself now. And I know that sticking with someone through it all is not easy. I never once doubted you loved my mother. The only time I can remember feeling insecure about the future of our family, Mom told me that you guys would ALWAYS be together. And I trusted her. Cause she trusted you. So I grew up feeling secure.

Thanks for showing me how to live with integrity. You showed by your own life what that means. Because of what you taught me, I have been able to stand up for what I believe in some tough situations.

Thanks for having a soft mushy tender heart! Now I am embarrassing you, but I am so glad for the times I have seen the tears in your eyes. I always knew that you were strong, but I am so glad you showed me that a real man can care, feel and cry too.

Thanks for loving God, and teaching me about Him. Thanks for taking me to church, and supporting me when I went to Bible College. Thanks for praying for me, many, many times.

Dad, you have given me so much, and this is just a small list. This last year I have worried that you might think Steve and I were taking you for granted. You have done so much for us, and we have been so completely caught up in all things Joel.

You have made repairs around the house. You shovelled the walks MANY times. You and Mom took Caeden to nursery school so I wouldn't have to drag Joel out. You drove me to so many doctors appointments, kept me company and were my moral support. You and Mom picked up all sorts of items from the store for me. You came over for tea and listened to me cry. So many things.

I love you very, very much. Stick around ok?? And come over for tea! Cause I don't want to have to write all this stuff in a blog again!

And, hey, everyone else, if you are still reading this and you still have a dad?? Get out there and hug that man. Tell him you love him. Tell him THANK YOU. Cause you really NEVER know when he'll be gone, and then its too late.